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BAJOCERO Below Zero For You Public School Grads

There are a couple of nature's contributions that make movie watching for Yours truly uncomfortable.

One is extreme cold. Yes, more than extreme heat.

The other is water, the kind that drowns people.

"Below Zero," a movie which found its way onto my personal, 'Because You Watched . . . ' list, is a cinematic contribution from Espana (Spain for you public school grads) has both.

It also has a plot that is just this side of confusing, and not the good side. However, to the filmmaker's credit, the pelicula (movie for you public school grads) story IS resolved and understandable by the end.

And it's a good one.

The film opens with some poor unfortunate slob being dragged through the mud and buried alive by some hombre (Man for you public school grads). It's a wonderfully disturbing scene and identifies the bad guy, at least his topcoat, early.

"Below Zero" concerns a prisoner transfer. The lead officer is the Smurf-sized Javier Gutierrez, who gets the crap beaten out of him by every inmate on the armored delivery vehicle. When the truck is commandeered by Our Bad Guy in Topcoat, you'd think this would be the Espanol (Spanish for you public school grads) version of Die Hard. Not so. Senor (Mister for you public school grads) Gutierrez ends up locked behind bars, the incarcerted free to roam.

Fortunately, the reprehensible scum of the Earth spend more time killing each other than they do trying to extricate themselves from the clutches of Our Bad Guy in Topcoat.

The denouement is a combination of plot explanation; drowning in ice-cold water (Oy); and a disturbing interrogation that involves hand removal.

The film has English subtitles for you public school grads.


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