FADING GIGOLO


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Okay, it's not.


What "Fading Gigolo" is?


Is a genuine Movie "Sleeper" Gem. This 2013 comedy written and directed by the bizarre-looking John Turturro is a preposterous keeper. A trip into the fantasy of a reluctant Brooklyn Midnight Cowboy named Fioravante (Turturro) turned out by pimp Murray Schwartz (Allen) a failed rare book store owner.


Allen gets the ridiculous notion to fulfill his dermatologist's (Sharon Stone, who looks incredible) dream of a menage a trois with the SEXIEST WOMAN ON THE PLANET, Sofia Vergara.


Turturro, like Allen is unemployed, but not without skills. He's handy around the house, AND is a certified exotic flower arranger. He is also the kindest and most offhandedly seductive gigolo since Richard Gere or Casanova.


Or both.


Allen ensnares Turturro in a lucrative hooking business, that both he and Woody cannot extricate themselves, nor do they want to.


While Allen works the somewhat past their prime but still fetching population of available females, Turturro blasts the screen with an innocence which has the distaff sex swooning for the Man With The Nose.


He and Allen are cleaning up and Turturro, every woman's ideal middle-aged male virgin, is charming the doyennes of Park Avenue and Sutton Place into one sexual escapade after another.


Turturro meets his match when Allen convinces the ultra-Orthodox Jew, Vanessa Paradis (Uh, the ex-Mrs. Johnny Depp) who plays Avigal to take in a therapy session with Turturro to help with her loneliness. Despite her strict upbringing and beliefs even this recently widowed mother of six cannot resist John Turturro.


Or can she?


She is also pursued by the unintentionally funny neighborhood cop, and good guy, Liev Schreiber. Will Avigal cross Delancey and be with her Goyim soulmate, or will she stay in the neighborhood and be fawned over by the smitten Schreiber?

Finally, if there is any woman on the planet who turns black lingerie into an instant smoldering sex scene faster than Sofia Vergara, I want photographic evidence.


"Fading Gigolo" is a ridiculous trope, an odd premise, and an inaccessible idea.

But it works. Turturro's script is smooth, but punchy in the right places. Sharon Stone makes me long for more performances from her, she's so good. Bob Balaban makes an all too rare and all too quick appearance in the film.


Catch this one on Prime Video. It will be your last cinematic view of a still vital Woody Allen. It will also have you Googling John Turturro to see what else he might have written and directed.


I know I did . . . right after the image search on Sofia Vergara.


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