LAST SEEN ALIVE by Joe Bob Briggs - High Noon in The Meth Lab!
Gerard Butler, speakin' ah last seen, leads an ensemble cast ah nobodies into the Massachusetts backwoods. The reason? His wife, the unknown Jaimie Alexander, has been disappeared. The worst part? Not that it ain't real bad to have yer wife snatched by a buncha inbred "Deliverance" types, she's been dropping divorce hints lately.
Set-up? Opportunity for Will to ditch the craterin' marriage? Real kidnappin' complete with teeth-missin' cretins?
All the above?
"Last Seen Alive" does feature the Mini-Me of the actin' biz, Michael Irby, last seen canoodlin' with Boho Hank in "Barry." Prior to that he was a ass-kickin' Army Ranger in "The Unit."
Oh, how the mahtee have fallen.
Ah'm recommendin' the flick, cuz Butler spends about an hour ah screen time searchin' for his AWOL wife in a meth lab. At the end uh the endless encounters with drug cookin' nekkid em-ploy-ees, and passin' bah the same redneck chemistry set, Butler shoots it out with a former NFL lineman and his troglodyte partner. A scene worthy of Gary Cooper in YouKnowWhut.
For that lone, "Last Seen Alive" is worth settin' in front of the television with a case uh PBRs.
Two dead bodies, four breasts (all on underwear sportin' meth heads), shotgun beating, tire iron - framing hammer duel, duct tape fu, divorce fu, hip black dude as token smart dude, and gratuitous Bruce Altman as thuh only Jew in WASP World.
Four Stars. Joe Bob sez check it out.