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The Hilarious Covid-19 Pandemic NOTE: Reprint from July 25, 2020



HAPPY F&$KING BIRTHDAY!

My latest trip around the sun.


Yes, today is the day. 63rd birthday. Now older than both parents when they attended our wedding back in 1987.

     Have had wonderful birthdays. Many between the ages of one and eighteen. Mom and Dad were excellent about celebrating those years. There were a handful since then, which have special significance.

     - 25. Halfway to 50. This one bothered me more than turning 30. Don't know why, but it did.

     - 30. Got married this year, the greatest event. This milestone is held in the highest regard and will always be a seminal year. Moved out of the execrable city of New York, trashed by Lindsay, Beame, and Koch. Moved to San Francisco, which had not self-destructed at that point.

     - 40. Surprise birthday party pulled off with fantastic espionage by my wife, good friend Garin Bougie, and wife's counterpart, Debra Collins. Attended by a not insignificant number of people.

     - 43. Won a triathlon against much younger competition. Had never crossed the tape first in all the years of track, cross-country, and sponsored road races. Finally did. Very cathartic.

     - 50. Halfway to 100. Need I state the obvious?

     - 56. Passed 30 years in the film industry, which means Yours truly outlasted Johnny Carson's 29 years, 8 months on Tonight Show for longevity.

     - 60. Retired from the film industry. Have not looked back. Also, moved out of the execrable city of San Francisco, trashed by Willie Brown, Gavin Newsom, and fellow sycophants, the Board of Supervisors. Returned to New York City, buoyed up and out of the ashes by Rudy Giuliani and Michael Bloomberg.

     - 63. As you can imagine, will not be a signature year, or birthday. Another annualized screw up by bureaucrats too dumb and/or afraid to come up with anything that improves a bad situation They have made things worse.

     Perhaps there will be a 64th? If so, it will be the Beatle's Birthday, inspired by their homage to impending geriatric times.

     Until then, here's to hoping de Blasio, Breed, Frei, Wheeler, Lightfoot, Durkan, Cuomo, Wolf, Murphy et al, don't trash our cities and states in an obvious effort to make Donald Trump look bad.

     They make themselves look bad, which is all I could ask for on my 63rd birthday.

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