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PAIN & GAIN The Self-Indulgence of Michael Bay



Between 1994 and 1995, three Jamokes named Daniel Lugo, Paul Doyle, and Adrian Doorbal kidnapped Marc Schiller and drained his considerable assets.

These three future members of the California State Legislature also murdered and dismembered pornographer Frank Griga and associate Krisztina Furton.

Currently, Doyle is out of prison after serving seven years of a fifteen year sentence. He turned state's witness on his two genius friends. Doorbal and Lugo remain on death row.

Keep this homage to Execrable Scum in mind since watching both hours of "Pain & Gain" is at once painful and exhilarating. It is Michael Bay at his best.

Which means it's also Michael Bay at his worst.

Just how did three room temperature fitness fanatics get their hands on all of Marc Schiller's money AND how did they also manage to lay waste to two other fine upstanding citizens of the city of Miami?

"Pain & Gain" an exercise in excess both cinematically, and historically.

The entertainment quotient is at least a ten. The Woke factor, save for the usual homosexual Catholic priest, is a zero.

Sorry to report the script factor is a lukewarm six. The performances and editorial pacing about the same. The resolution is a ten, but only because three homicidal maniacs were convicted and sentenced. Doyle escaped death row; works in a Christian church; and has found God.

I guess he lost Him in 1994.

Some great performances in supporting roles assist in watchability. Ed Harris is solid as Detective DuBois. Bar Paly is radiant and hilarious as stripper/skank/CIA "agent"/pincushion/drug addict/turncoat, Sorina.

Rob Coddry is effective in the role of the easily duped John Mese, who also served time for notarizing forged documents presented to him by Lugo.

Rebel Wilson is less than (ahem) her usual annoying self as "a woman who works in the penis business." She plays Robin Peck who MARRIES Adrian Doorbal. Oy.

Can't tell if the film is worth recommending, but I had to finish it. It's Michael Bay, a lotta dessert and no dinner.

Amazon Prime.

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