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THE HILARIOUS COVID-19 PANDEMIC A Flashback to the Execrable Year, 2020


It's a barbershop. It's not a mosh pit. It's not a TB ward during World War I. It's not even the Wal-Mart, which is open.

All set to get my hair cut tomorrow. Not a big deal to have let it grow out as much as it has, because of a couple reasons:

 - I still have most of my hair. It does not look like a pathetic, aging, hippie combover.

 - I usually only get a haircut when my "do" gets away from me. I'll even put some product in it to extend the amount of time before I visit the barbershop, a great place on West 72nd Street by the way. The owners are Russian, and when they start talking to each other it sounds like a KGB operation.

 - My hair, even at an overgrown length is easy to handle

But I do like it short. After every cut from the Brezhnev Brothers, I luxuriate in the use of Axe Combo Shampoo and Conditioner. That lasts for about two weeks. I am in and out of the shower in less than ten minutes.

     Not so now. I have to apply more and more conditioner every few days to make sure it is going to stay closer to my scalp.

     When the dunces in the various governor's offices decided closing Joe's Hardware Store (But not Wal-Mart), Julio's Bodega (But not Safeway), and Marie's Salon (But allowed fellow dunces to get a perm and blow dry), was a brilliant move, I decided there was much to this shutdown which had NOTHING to do with health.

     And yesterday, Connecticut's governor, Ned Lamont, decided that Marie's Salon needed another 12 days to figure out how to put up plastic dividers, wear facial protection, and operate a spray bottle.

     Uh, it’s a hair salon. It's not a massage parlor . . . and quite frankly those should have never closed either.

     Large businesses and institutions will survive. I'm not worried about the Yankees, or the Met, or Google.

     I am worried about Joe, Julio, and Marie.

     And as long as the dunces are still calling the shots, you should be too.

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